Why the Bag Matters: How Belonging Shapes a Child's Sense of Self
When people think of a child in foster care, they might picture suitcases, boxes, or a favorite stuffed animal or toy packed with care. But for about 9,000 children in Tennessee’s foster care system, the reality is different.
It’s more likely that their belongings travel with them in a trash bag, a detail that might seem small but carries a psychological weight that is hard to overstate.
At My Bag My Story, we believe what a child carries matters. What may seem like a convenience could make a big difference in how a child sees themselves.
Possessions and Identity Are Deeply Connected
Psychologically, the objects we own are not just things; they are extensions of who we are. Research suggests that possessions communicate our identity, values, and sense of self.
For children, this connection is especially powerful. When a child has something they can point to and say, "This is mine," it anchors their sense of self in times of uncertainty. For children navigating foster care, where transitions can happen quickly and without warning, that sense of ownership can offer stability amid change.
In addition to fostering their sense of personal identity, new possessions also help children develop a sense of self-worth.
Belonging Is a Fundamental Human Need
According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the need for love and belonging sits just above the need for safety. And when that need goes unmet, the desire for it intensifies. For children in foster care, adjusting to new homes, schools, and caregivers, the need to feel accepted and valued is immediate and real. Carrying old or worn-out belongings that signal their circumstances only adds to the pressure.
But something as simple as a new bag to carry a child’s belongings becomes a quiet but clear symbol of belonging. It says, "This is yours. You matter. You are important." Data shows that feeling like you belong can help reduce loneliness and support emotional well-being.
Trash Bags Send the Wrong Message
But a trash bag sends the opposite signal. As a culture, we associate trash bags (or garbage bags) with unwanted items, from food scraps to charity donations; they represent what we are discarding. So, while they may have a practical purpose (cheaper, and potentially more sanitary in certain instances), to a child already under emotional distress, stuffing their belongings in trash bags can erode a child's dignity, which may cause them to question their value.
Children notice when they are treated differently, and that message compounds damaging beliefs.
A quality backpack or duffel bag has the potential to interrupt that narrative. While it cannot remove the challenges, it is a tangible, visible signal that someone saw them, valued them, and thought they deserved something better.
Solving the Problem
May is Foster Care Awareness Month, and My Bag My Story is launching a new month-long giving campaign that aims to solve that problem - one county at a time.
Through My County My Story, our goal is to raise $237,500 - enough to make sure no child in Tennessee has to pack their life in a trash bag.
The work of restoring dignity to children in foster care does not always require sweeping policy reform or grand gestures. Sometimes it starts with something you can hold in your hands because the bag matters. And so does every child who carries it.
This May - adopt a county and change a childhood.